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The jilted city of australia

Oh hey there Sydney. How ya doing? STILL stinging from not becoming the Capital of Australia huh? I don’t blame you. I mean, I don’t get it myself. You were the obvious choice being the first founded city of Australia and that. I mean, EVERYONE knows about you. You say, ‘hey who’s the Capital of Australia’ and everyone says SYDNEY DUH. But not duh. Cause you’re not. And you never will be. Sorry, too soon?

Don’t worry about it Syds. Ergh who even IS Canberra? You’re way better than that s.l.u.t. You would make such a better Capital. You would Capital the shit out of being Capital. I wish I knew what to say that could make you feel better. I guess you just gotta remember that everything happens for a reason. You don’t know what’s gonna happen in the future. You don’t know what’s around the corner and when it’s right, it’s right, right? Just keep doing what you’re doing and when you least expect it…it’ll happen for you. I mean, it won’t actually happen for you. You can’t become the Capital unless you get rid of Canberra but you’re no homewrecker. Srsly who the fuck is Canberra? Look, you’re way better off anyway. Dodged a bullet if you ask me.

It’s time to move on Sydney. It’s been 103 years mate. On the upside, at least you’re not Melbourne am I right? Actually, AM I right? Cause I’m not entirely sure what your beef is with Melbourne. I mean yeah, you both wanted to be the Capital but you’re WAY prettier than Melbourne. Melbourne is PUNCHING. Sure Melbourne is super artsy and cultural blablabla and voted the best city to live in or whatever but you’ve got loads going for you. You know…beaches? That bridge? You’re a total catch!  What’s that saying? Melbourne is superficially deep but Sydney is deeply superficial? Oops that came out wrong. I mean, I probably misheard it or something. Just forget I said anything.

Anyway – must dash. Chin up! Love ya Syds!

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